Bagel Belly Blog

Of mice and men

Ok, here we go...

Last monday I went on a date with a wonderful Irish girl as a result of a conversation via an online dating site.

(Pause a beat for people to conjure up their social stigmas and preconceptions. You there yet? Ok, just waiting for the family to stop cheering. Right, good, let's carry on.)

Here's the funny thing: everyone I've talked to since then has told me how either they know someone that met / is in a relationship / got married through an online dating site, or that they are signed up to one, or that "it's cool with them", not to mention a friend of a friend who got positively addicted to the whole thing. So I'm kinda wondering where the social stigmas are from. Maybe it's my own fears and inhibitions projected onto others? Anyway, whatever.

So I have to say, the whole electronic relationship leads to real life encounter thing was quite a curious experience this time around. I spend almost my entire life in electronic worlds these days. No, I'm not talking about Warcraft; I'm talking about email, instant messaging, IRC; Skype, mailing lists, web sites, and so on. The tools of my trade. And, well, maybe a little bit of Warcraft ;-)

Anyway, given how many times I've met people in real life that I've been working with beforehand for weeks or months or even years, you'd think I'd be a master at switching from virtual conversation to actual real life conversation by now. Nope, definitely not. Not even slightly. Still figuring out the rules of this one. It's not like I'm Mr Dating as it is. If you add up every date, chance meeting, conversation, and average them out over, oh, let's be generous and call it fifteen years ... well, we're talking less than one a year here. Quite a lot less. Cough.

On Friday night I had the chance to talk with my relationship advisor, lifestyle guru, and overall best female friend ever. From what little I remember of the conversation (there was vodka involved), I need to worry less and relax more. And, probably, learn to shut my mouth and think (i.e. maybe not write here about this stuff I guess, or send emails to the other party before a decent time has passed), and also to open my mouth and talk more (i.e. be more forthcoming and less closed-off with new people).

Or maybe I should just relax and be myself, because when all's said and done, I'm looking for someone that's comfortable with me, right?

And to answer the obvious question: no, I don't know. And if I did, you can rest assured I've learnt to keep my mouth shut now. Obviously.