November 21, 2004
Flood
At 16:50 this evening, I heard a curious dripping sound coming from the kitchen. I dashed downstairs (this is not long after the valve in my header tank overflowed, so I'm nervous about these things), and because I couldn't see what was the cause, I turned the kitchen lights on - which tripped the mains, plunging me into darkness.
Using my phone as a torch, I lit a couple of candles to see water pouring from one of the kitchen light fittings. I turned the lights off and flipped the mains back on, then headed upstairs to find the cause. Not the header tank this time - that cascades into the porch, not the kitchen. This time, the radiator in my spare bedroom has burst. A jet of hot water was flying out the back and running down the wall, soaking the (new ... grr...) carpet, and pouring downstairs.
I turned off the central heating (it's 6 degrees outside ... don't need that), shoved a waterproof container under the radiator (and under the lights downstairs), and retrieved the phone.
The most logical first call would be to my home insurance company, NatWest. I wanted to check whether they retained any plumbers or not, and whether they'd cover me if I called any random plumber out. I tried their website. I tried google. I tried five different phone numbers for them, including their travel insurance emergency number. I don't have the documentation with me, as it's all at work (I called them last week because they messed up my direct debits). All I've found out so far is that their office hours are 9-5 mon-fri, and I can call them then for a very competitive quote. Great.
Next, I grabbed the yellow pages, and started calling plumbers. Guess what is the latest thing to be outsourced? Yup, plumbing call centres. The first three I called were all proxying for the same local plumber ("sorry, too busy on a major job tonight"). The fourth isn't answering, the fifth didn't have his tools handy (couldn't be bothered for such a simple job), and I'm currently waiting for the sixth to call back.
So here I am, in a soggy and rapidly-cooling house, cursing call centres, banks, insurance companies and leaky radiators. Time to go raid the toolbox and see if I have the required bits and pieces to either patch the radiator or cap the pipes for the time being. Why do these things never go wrong when the hardware shops are open?