BSOD

The Microsoft patch bonanza killed my PC.

The latest security update causes a bluescreen on booting, with the friendly message:
STOP: c0000135 {Unable to Locate DLL}
The dynamic link library winsrv could not be found in the specified path Default Load Path.

I guess this is Microsoft’s idea of security, eh? If your computer won’t boot, it’s got to be pretty secure … (the only way to secure Windows box is to switch it off, after all).

The Microsoft Knowledge Base solution didn’t work so I’m sat waiting for Win2k to reinstall now. Just what I planned to be doing on a Saturday evening. Lovely.

It’s good to be reminded every so often of why I don’t like Windows and why I prefer to avoid it at all costs. Unfortunately the accounting software I use (Quickbooks) only works in Windows – there’s no UK version for the Mac. So looks like I’m stuck with the Redmond torture for now.

Update 1: it’s 9pm, and I now have Win2k installed. It only took two hours. I now have Internet Explorer Service Pack 1 and 6 critical updates to install – not including the one that broke things last time. I love Windows. I love Windows. I LOVE WINDOWS!

Update 2: it’s 9.15. Windows 2000 service pack 4. Lovely.

Update 3: It’s 10pm. After Service Pack 4, I now have 16 critical updates. Ah, happy me.

Urgh:
Cumulative Security Update for Outlook Express 6 Service Pack 1 (KB837009)
Cumulative Security Update for Internet Explorer 6 Service Pack 1 (KB832894)
Critical Update for Windows Media Player Script Commands (KB828026)
Security Update for Windows 2000 (KB837001)
Security Update for Windows 2000 (KB828741)
Security Update for Microsoft Data Access Components (KB832483)
Security Update for Microsoft Windows (KB828749)
Security Update for Microsoft Windows 2000 (KB828035)
Security Update for Microsoft Windows 2000 (KB825119)
Security Update for Microsoft Windows 2000 (KB826232)
Security Update for Microsoft Windows (KB824105)
Security Update for Windows 2000 (KB823182)
823559: Security Update for Microsoft Windows
816093: Security Update Microsoft Virtual Machine (Microsoft VM)
814078: Security Update (Microsoft Jscript version 5.6, Windows 2000, Windows XP)
Critical Update for Internet Explorer 6 Service Pack 1 (KB831167)
Security Update for Windows 2000 (KB835732)

Update 4: 10.45pm. Security Update for Windows 2000 (KB835732) killed my computer again. At least I know what not to install now :-(

Update 5: 11.37pm.

From Microsoft:

Removal Information

To remove this update, use the Add or Remove Programs tool in Control Panel.

System administrators can also use the Spuninst.exe utility to remove this security update. The Spuninst.exe utility is located in the %Windir%\$NTUninstallKB835732$\Spuninst folder.

From the Windows 2000 repair console:
C:\WINNT\$NTUNINSTALLKB835732$\SPUNINST>spuninst.exe
The command is not recognized Type HELP for a list of supported commands.

<expletive/> Microsoft and their <expletive/> shoddy software and their <expletive/> <expletive/> <expletive/> security updates and their <expletive/> <expletive/> <expletive/> <expletive/> <expletive/> <expletive/>. I’m going home to bed. That’s five hours of my life that <expletive/> Microsoft owe me. <expletive/>.

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